I'm Perfect

In every way, I'm perfect. Perfection is defined by me.
I cannot make mistakes. Mistakes terrify me. The world may implode
may I ever make a mistake. Of course I won't because I am Perfect. My sister
would always tell me so. Little Ms. Perfect, she would call me. I think she
was jealous, still is if you ask me.

If someone, ever points out that I could be mistaken, incomplete or short on details
I become very. very upset. Poised. But upset. My head silently blows into a million pieces.
My heart pounds out of every artery. I smile. I ask "really? " I blink quickly to pull back my tears
of anger. My thoughts of my shattered mind race. How is this possible, how could I have let this slip, why didn't I prepare. I feel the need to scream, go into a violent rage, instead I stand there staring blankly, with a stupid grin. Then I shut down.

Taking the the perceived criticism. I should have done it better. I failed. My perfection is flawed.
My frosting is cracked. My botox needs renewing. My polish is chipped. I have a cavity.

So I wanna say FAK it!

Ok so Fak the diet and keep the work out!?!

How do those delicious buttery potatoes suit you?  They suit me fine, mmmm! I can deal with the work out, I just need the carbs, lots of them appearently.

I feel better when I work out. It doesn't matter if it's this crazy SWAT work out, my lazy day aqua-robics, my fun zumba...I just feel good...ummm along with mood stabilizers, tranquilizers and uppers I feel better that is :)

So fak the diet part for now I'm a fatty chick that aspires to be a woman who is mistaken for someone with an eating disorder...I'm kinda not joking about this and yes I know it's twisted thinking...yes I still know I'm COO coo not breaking the news to me...

Having a loving life moment, hoping it's not a spur of the mania moment...

Confidence goes by the waistline

When I was a child I remember being confident. I see that in my baby girl. Ooh she's out spoken, sassy and bright. Like her, I knew what I wanted, how I wanted and when! So what happened and when did it happen? I consider myself well educated yet I also think I'm an idiot.

A lot has happened in the past few years that has withered away my confidence but also a lot has happend that should have built it back up.

I'm fat. Does that mean what I have to say is less important? Of course not? So then what is my problem??? I feel like I take up more space than I should...yes this is my little pitty party post

blah!
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. ~Sally Field

I'm so intresting I follow Myself!

How did I mange to do that? Seriously? I am following my own blog? Now that is UNCOOL! how do remove me from me???? He he. I'll figure it out, just kinda thought it was funny. Maybe I'll just leave it, in case I can't figure out how to remove myself from the follow list, then it will look like I left myself on purpose?

Wait what if there is another bluebonbon with the same profile pic? GASP! my long lost blog twin?
:D


see more Epic Fails