Saturday, September 29, 2012

I am in no mood to think of a creative title

I'm sitting with a white towel wrapped around my head with hair far too dry. I should already be ready to go cuz the movie starts in 30 minutes. Really, I am in the middle of a long time coming break up. Being the idiot that I am I have tried to tell myself things will patch themselves up if I just give them a little more time. The shit hit the proverbial fan today. Truth be told it hit the fan early this month but it's been a slow steady stream of diarrhea just squirting out before the big bout today.
I'm moving out. it's devastating, I'm on auto pilot and truth be told I want to curl up and go to bed and cry. However, I have three kids who need me to try to keep it together and take them to see a movie.
One year later she moved out. Three months after that she married that man. She remains on autopilot.

I'm Still Here!

I'm not hiding.
Just laying low.
My son moved away

I miss him

I MISS him, like crazy. I miss him like the crazy bitch that I am.

since he left

my heart is heavy

I know I pushed him away
I can never get our relationship
where it should have been.
He needed a mother and I gave
him a fucking bitch!
I see the pictures when he was a baby, a toddler. He is so happy.
Then he is not.
You will blame me as most kids blame their mother, only in your case, I cannot deny you.