Physical therapy was umm nice.

My first day of physical therapy was amazing! Let me just say it was like a spa day! Well spa hour minus the zap gun, more on that in a bit. Let me walk you through this event. :)
Sign in, wait. I'm a little nervous as I don't know what to expect. I had my assessment and had to do some funny faces for a therapist yesterday but..oh they just called my name, it's this cute guy, late 20's, early 30's? smells Nice,about 5'10, could use some more meat on his ribs but not a total eye sore. Takes me to a pumpkin colored room, with a standard exam table draped in a white sheet, looks pretty clinical in there, pictures and diagrams of muscles on the wall. He asks me to make some faces, tells me these are my "warm up" exercises and should practice them at home. He also says, " I'm going to put a heating pad then I'm going to shoot you with a gun". "What?" "oh you'll see." He continues to get some stuff ready.

Ladies...the lights dimmed. My feet raised. The heating pad applied, the smell of alcohol waifed through the air (did I mention I like the smell of alcohol pads and Clorox? weird huh?) and relaxation music played (read elevator music) total and complete zen. Ding. Times up.
My ten minutes of zen were up lights back on. He walked in with a yellow stun gun and was aiming it at my face. ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! 15 minutes of involuntary muscle contractions ZAP! each ZAP! was making my face ZAP! contort ZAP! into ZAP! a mutant freak and it wasn't very comfortable! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! finally it was over! whew.

LADIES!!! ATTENTION! The ehhem Therapist (he by the way was a complete professional) then continued to apply lotion to my zapped face and UNgently MASSAGE my very sore face. He applied using his entire hand, not just his fingertips, and was firm, using both hands, rubbing yet not rubbing the cream INTO my skin. It was somehow very sexy. I have to keep in mind that this is Physical THERAPYYYYYY.
Understand I'm very uncomfortable with touch and for a stranger to be touching my face OH noooo. but this is a technique that certainly could replace well lets not go that far, but could ENHANCE foreplay lol. anyway where the heck am I going with this. Oh yes. The massage was stimulating, the end. :D

I'm greatful for:

All in no particular order:


1. My kids! (though sometimes I just want them to look pretty and hit their mute button, but I
still can't find it!!!)


2. The dude in my life, yeah you know who you are. You have the luxury of laying next to this gorgeous beast every night and pretend you don't notice the puffy eyes in the morning, or any sort of ummm, gas exchange that may or MAY NOT occur in the middle of the night.


3. I'm also glad that I may have passed the semester, though I'm still keeping my fingers crossed as I admit I may have not put in all of my soul into my work, I will settle for a B average (I'm more of a 3.5-3.8 type of gal but ehh B will do nicely this time.)


4. I'm grateful that I have a core of fucking great friends, that accept me regardless of me neurotic symptoms.


5. I'm thankful for the $7.86 in my bank account that is left after all is said and done this month. (Starbucks, see you tomorrow! I can totally score a venti macchiato!)


6. I'm ever so thankful that I ONLY gained back 20 pounds of the 57 pounds I lost last year, trust me it could have been way worse with the amounts of coco puffs I consumed (shit, what the hell!!!)


7. I'm thankful that I can write this blog in a country that lets me post this shit up without fear of censorship, or fear of getting my head cut off, my fingers mutilated, or my eyes gouged out for having an opinion about gratitute, living out of wed lock, drinking, oh yes I'm greatful for that too. (though honestly women still have a way to go in the workplace...just sayin)


8. I'm greatful for all the little things that I don't think about/worry about on a regular basis like changing the batteries in the remote or kids toys (except the ones with the little screws DAMN I hate those, thanks my dude for taking care of those) and like electricity and laundry and like silly stuff that people in other countries struggle for, I feel blessed. Wow maybe I'm not that shallow after all... oh damn I chipped my nail!