Looking around today I noticed...

You can observe a lot by just watching.
Yogi Berra


As I went around town doing my usual stuff I noticed little things that I usually don't notice. My right eye is really blurry and dried out from the inability to blink from the Bell's Palsy, this is week 4 and it's finally improving some.

Anyway, I have become more observant...a people watcher...I'm not going to say I criticize like I said a few blogs ago, because I didn't pass judgement, just watched people...

I started my day at the grocery store where I saw a man absolutely loose his temper because the tortilla machine was broken and his wife was going to yell at him for not bringing home fresh tortillas.
I then saw a young man (a store employee) nearly get burned from head to toe by lighting a huge oven with a tiny match. Lick his fingers, notice me, smile and go about his way.
A woman in her fifties(?) laughed like a school girl with her friend while picking onions.
A young mother was near tears as her husband yelled at her and woke their sleeping infant in the carrier tenderly placed on the cart.
The employees speak loud and fast in mixed languages.
There are two severely overweight women next to a thin woman in workout clothes, sunglasses, smiling and talking on the cell phone waiting by the meat counter. The women are leaning heavily on the prepackaged meats refrigerators and their butts are hanging over the ledge-just observing!

A man is receiving fellatio behind the pawn shop, I wonder what he paid.

There are a group of middle school boys crossing the street behind a girl and she seems nervous, luckily they turned left and she went straight.

A group of angry mothers arguing about who did more to organize the last PTA this that or the other, smile crookedly and rush to get my son.

Life can be hectic...even at a distance. Whew what a day!


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I'm so intresting I follow Myself!

How did I mange to do that? Seriously? I am following my own blog? Now that is UNCOOL! how do remove me from me???? He he. I'll figure it out, just kinda thought it was funny. Maybe I'll just leave it, in case I can't figure out how to remove myself from the follow list, then it will look like I left myself on purpose?

Wait what if there is another bluebonbon with the same profile pic? GASP! my long lost blog twin?
:D


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Getting older and fatter ungracefully

So my dude and I are driving back from the eye doctor after his eye check(he had cataract removal surgery last week and everything seems to have gone well)and of course he's driving and showing off he's newly found 20/20 vision.
During the ride home, the morning sun caught and highlighted his beautiful smile lines and the way his long eyelashes come together when he smiles. I pulled down the mirror and remembered us almost a decade ago. Wow, time has changed us. I too have changed. Emotionally, I'm a wreck. On the outside, I look like I've been through hell. I look like a woman twice my age. My dude has some health problems, and between us, i struggle with this.
I see he notices the extra weight on me and he never ever says a negative thing about it (he's gracious enough). However it has an impact on our relationship at every level.
There is a big age difference. I used to pretend not to notice, I was gracious enough. As of late I have been nasty about it. The difference is 25 years. Before you ask, there is no gold to be dug. He is a genuine good person with a good heart. We were best friends before anything else. We were separated by at least 1400 miles and would have long conversations, mainly about me, but still. I feel like I have let him down. I should be this gorgeous woman, a trophy. Not because he demands this or expects this. But isn't this why men go with younger women? I am insecure about my weight for sure, I am more insecure of my wrinkles and feeling so old.
Some things are inevitable, age is one of them. Honestly, I never thought this age thing would happen to me.

Physical therapy was umm nice.

My first day of physical therapy was amazing! Let me just say it was like a spa day! Well spa hour minus the zap gun, more on that in a bit. Let me walk you through this event. :)
Sign in, wait. I'm a little nervous as I don't know what to expect. I had my assessment and had to do some funny faces for a therapist yesterday but..oh they just called my name, it's this cute guy, late 20's, early 30's? smells Nice,about 5'10, could use some more meat on his ribs but not a total eye sore. Takes me to a pumpkin colored room, with a standard exam table draped in a white sheet, looks pretty clinical in there, pictures and diagrams of muscles on the wall. He asks me to make some faces, tells me these are my "warm up" exercises and should practice them at home. He also says, " I'm going to put a heating pad then I'm going to shoot you with a gun". "What?" "oh you'll see." He continues to get some stuff ready.

Ladies...the lights dimmed. My feet raised. The heating pad applied, the smell of alcohol waifed through the air (did I mention I like the smell of alcohol pads and Clorox? weird huh?) and relaxation music played (read elevator music) total and complete zen. Ding. Times up.
My ten minutes of zen were up lights back on. He walked in with a yellow stun gun and was aiming it at my face. ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! 15 minutes of involuntary muscle contractions ZAP! each ZAP! was making my face ZAP! contort ZAP! into ZAP! a mutant freak and it wasn't very comfortable! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! finally it was over! whew.

LADIES!!! ATTENTION! The ehhem Therapist (he by the way was a complete professional) then continued to apply lotion to my zapped face and UNgently MASSAGE my very sore face. He applied using his entire hand, not just his fingertips, and was firm, using both hands, rubbing yet not rubbing the cream INTO my skin. It was somehow very sexy. I have to keep in mind that this is Physical THERAPYYYYYY.
Understand I'm very uncomfortable with touch and for a stranger to be touching my face OH noooo. but this is a technique that certainly could replace well lets not go that far, but could ENHANCE foreplay lol. anyway where the heck am I going with this. Oh yes. The massage was stimulating, the end. :D

:) I can't wait to smile :)

Between you and I...I don't smile very often, I don't think i do anyway, I'm a serious person, unless I'm tipsy then whoo hooo!!! I'm grinning and laughing!!!

This Bell's Palsy has taught me one thing. I don't smile enough. Do you? I walk right by people and not greet them or smile to say good morning, have a good one, go fuck yourself, nothing.
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
This is week three of this Bell's crap and it is getting OLD. I start physical therapy this afternoon and I have no idea what to expect. I'm all done with my meds for it though.

I promise myself and to all those people that I come across that I will greet them with a big smile and I will try to smile often! Lesson learned.
Oh and I will try not to worry about wrinkles around my lips :D