Interesting quote. With this idea in mind,
I feel like I'm beating a dead horse to death.
Talking about it, writing about it, thinking about it.
It remains a constant. It has become a taboo. My family
doesn't talk to me about IT for fear IT might come back.
I need to openly discuss my affliction. I can't get the words
out. The sentences do not form. My brain shuts down.
s l u g g i shfrom my constant fear of rejection to being ashamed to alienate
yet someone else.I know I will somehow over come it.
Two years of therapy and I still can't get the words out.
All stuck in my throat.
is what I'll become if I don't let them free and out of me.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein
I was going to end today's thought here but after having coffee another thought entered my well caffeinated brain:
I am not miserable. You know, I have been stable for a while. Yes, I still THINK of performing delicate, fine lines of cuts on my skin. BUT I do not. I sit and meditate, granted it's on the bathroom floor sometimes, until the crazy thoughts pass but I don't leave reality. I no longer fantasize about leaving this world.
I am even going to venture to say that EVEN with this diagnosis of Bipolar Type Crazy, I am more sane now than some of the undiagnosed, addicted, truly insane, "professional", delusional nurses I have met in my many years of nursing. The path has been long. Medications have been tried, tossed, injected and rejected. However I have to say that stability is good.
With this I dust myself off and carry on with my thoughts of insanity and profess that today I am a little less insane than I was yesterday.